


the cost of keeping a secret

by orphan_account



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Consent Issues, Drug Use, Forced Prostitution, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Multi, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Sexual Abuse, Swearing, Victim Blaming, but today is not that day so have some painful feels instead, maybe i'll write something romantic one day, this is not romantic finnick/annie yet okay?, this is set when they're both about 17 so before annie's games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-19 20:01:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4759181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How Annie found out Finnick Odair wasn't who he seemed to be at all and at first she wished she never found out until she was happy she did. It would all be alright. Someday.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the cost of keeping a secret

**Author's Note:**

> warning: might be triggering for some, please read the tags and warnings, though nothing is explicit. also: enjoy!

Annie couldn’t quite figure Finnick Odair out. When they had been kids, they had never got along because she told him once that a trident wasn’t a very practical weapon. He had then told her she smelled like chlorine. So they’d never been friends. He’d also skipped a level in training so they never saw each other much, other than when it was her turn to get the door when the fish delivery came to their small hotel and the delivery boy of the day just so happened to be Finnick Odair.

Then, on Annnie's second reaping day, Finnick had bad luck. Well, it wasn't really luck. Murray Thompson who was supposed to volunteer, didn’t go through with it and so Finnick became a tribute in the 65th hunger games. Annie didn’t say goodbye. She barely knew him, after all. Of course, immediately after he was gone she regretted her choice.

When she saw him flirt on tv that year, she didn’t think too much of it. It was a sponsor strategy that came naturally to him because of his looks and charm, despite his youth. In 4 there was now an ever growing number of people who claimed to have kissed him once. That probably wasn’t true. A friend of hers, Cordelia, had tried to kiss him last spring and he had just wrinkled his nose, given her a quick peck, blushed and run off.

He won that year. The capitol loved him like they’d never loved any Victor before him. The youngest ever, the golden boy, the prince of the Capitol, that’s what they called him.

After he came back, he didn’t show himself too often. He and Mags had always been close but now he was practically glued to her side. She talked to him once when they met on the beach but his mind was somewhere else. He probably didn’t even recognize her. It was weird but normal for a victor. He’d get better eventually. All the victors in 4 did. His victory tour was a success, as expected. Capitol socialites clung to his arm every step of the way. It looked weird. They were obviously at least twice his age, no matter how hard they tried he hide it. 

From then on, Annie didn’t pay a lot of attention to him anymore. Maybe she would have forgot about him all together if his beautiful face wasn’t one of the most famous faces in Panem. And then we he turned 16, there was a huge party in the Capitol. Snow personally arranged it for him. There was so much excitement. Oh, how the Capitol loved Finnick. She became sick of it. Didn’t he become sick of it too? Apparently not, because he had a new companion on his arm almost every evening.

The image didn’t quite fit, she thought. Annie knew the old Finnick, who made terrible, annoying jokes, played with his little siblings and delivered fish to the hotels because even though his older brother dropped out of school when he was 16 to support the family, it was always never quite enough. She, like the rest of 4, knew that his hair was bronze unlike that of his siblings who all had his father’s dark hair. She knew the rumours. _His mother_ , everyone said, _slept around too much_. _Before she took the family boat and her life and sailed off to nowhere._

So yes, Annie thought, it was all quite odd. It didn’t matter thought, wasn’t her business. Her business was the hotel, her friends, her family, her life.

That was until Finnick decided to invade her life. Okay, it wasn’t her life, it was the hotel. And it also probably wasn’t quite his choice. Augusta Kingsbloom was one of the hotels best paying guests, so when she requested the whole hotel for herself and some company for 2 days, she got what she wanted. And that seemed to include Finnick Odair.

Annie was just supposed to bring in some more food and then leave them alone but she just couldn’t stop herself. After she set the plates on table, she stayed hidden behind the door, listened and watched. What was the life of the great Finnick Odair really like? What was the glamorous Capitol life like?

There was some music, dancing, lights. Augusta had brought about a dozen people with her to 4 for a _private, little vacation_ as she called it. Annie didn’t really see or hear much and she was just about to leave when the music quieted down a bit. “Hands off him, sula. You’ll get your turn but I paid so I get to go first.” Annie didn’t understand.

“How about you get rid of these clothes, what do you say, beautiful?“ “Swim for us, darling” She didn’t know that voice. She also didn’t know what was happening. “Of course, _anything_ for you” Was that Finnick? What was he doing? She heard someone jump in the pool, quiet enough for it to be someone who was very experienced, skilled, elegant. Finnick, probably. Someone joined him after a while. There were moans and some cheering from Augusta’s friends and then it was over. Well, this probably all made sense. Maybe they’d just been joking about the paying part. Maybe it was capitol humour. Maybe…

Annie’s thoughts were interrupted when someone entered the main building through the glass doors. Finnick and someone else. Naked. She really had to go. Now. If only she could. It seemed she was frozen in place instead, forced to watch as a woman with long, burgundy hair roughly led Finnick through the hall to the elevator. Annie knew that woman, Ursula Reynalds or Reginald or something. She’d gone out with him before during the last games in the summer. “Ah, it’s so great to see you again, honey… you know it’s such a shame that you’re so fucking expensive.” He just smiled at her. Annie didn’t want to see this.

“Hm, let’s have some fun, alright? Open your mouth for me, sweetie, hm?” Oh, if this was going where she thought it might be going, she definitely didn’t want to see it. Finnick just opened his mouth obediently though and Ursula gave him a small, too bright pill which he swallowed. Then he leaned in to kiss her and they stumbled into the elevator, one of her hands on his ass and the other scratching his back hard enough to draw blood. Finnick looked up right before the doors closed and he saw her. He saw here and he looked  like he’d seen a ghost. The doors closed before anything else happened. Annie left as quickly as possibly, without thinking about being quiet or staying hidden.

 

* * *

 

 

It was early morning rather than late night when Ursula finally let him go. He didn’t remember that much of the beginning of the night, probably because of the pill mixed with his usual stuff that he took religiously before almost every encounter with a client. Made everything easier. His clients didn’t mind, some were into it, actually. Fucking him when he was as high as a kite and didn’t really have a clue what was going on around him.

He did remember Annie Cresta though and he was damn sure she also remembered him, naked in that elevator with Ursula Reynalds. How long had she been there? How much had she seen? She wasn’t allowed to know, if she knew then she’d be punished and Finnick would be too. More blood on his hands. He had to do something.

It didn’t really matter that it was five in the morning, he couldn’t risk it. After he kissed Ursula goodbye and left the Cresta hotel, he went straight to their home, only a couple of minutes away from their small business. Only when he was actually standing in front of the door, he realized he had no clue what to do now. Should he knock? No. He’d probably just wake her family. He could may- The door opened and there she was in a flowy nightgown with her dark hair tousled and unkempt. “Finnick? Do you want to come in?” He nodded.

Once they reached the small living room of the house, they sat down. “Look, Annie, I don’t know what you think you saw” The use of her name seemed to surprise her, as if she thought he’d forgotten her. “But you understand you can’t tell anyone about that, right? It can be our little secret”

She didn’t seem convinced. At all. “My cousin, Selena... she... had a bad boyfriend once. He used to get her drunk, sleep with her and then pretend like it was okay. She had bruises like that too” she said, gesturing towards his wrists. Oh, that? If his prep team had their way, like they always did, they’d be gone tomorrow. “I know what I saw. You were drugged. And they paid for you? I don’t know, were you okay, Finnick? Did you do it willingly?” He didn’t understand, what was she saying?

“Did you like it? I mean, if you do…” He had started laughing without realizing it, too loud. Did he like it? What kind of question was that supposed to be. It didn’t matter. He liked not having his family killed. 

“You’re too loud, you’re gonna wake the whole house up. Finnick!” She waited for him to quiet down. “I don’t know what’s going on. I just know what I saw and-“. He had enough. Right now he really didn’t need a lecture about consent. Consent was a privilege he just couldn’t afford. “You have no idea what you saw” he said, voice filled with poison. “How about you mind your own fucking business and keep your mouth shut, Annie Cresta”

With those words he left her sitting there.

 

 

After school Annie went to the hotel to help her parents out at the hotel. Just like every other day in her dull life. Except she’d seen Finnick Odair naked yesterday and then he’d been in her home and told her to keep it a secret. She didn’t even know what the secret was. That he had slept with Ursula? That she drugged him? That she paid? A combination of those facts? Would she ever find out the answer?

Around half past six she went home. Her sisters were probably home already, maybe Lana had already cooked dinner. Her evening did not go as planned though. Finnick was waiting for her in front of her home. Under normal circumstances she might have made a joke about how she could have possibly deserved the honour of two visits from Panem’s golden boy in just two days. The circumstances weren’t normal though and she was pretty sure she knew why he was here.

She just nodded at him and then waved him inside. Something was different about him but she couldn’t pin it down. “Anyone home?” Nobody answered so they would be able to talk without her sisters disturbing them. “So…” she sat down “now that you’re sober, do you want to-“. Finnick interrupted her with a kiss. What? She pushed him off. “What are you doing?”

He was kneeling on the floor before the couch she was sitting on, looking up at her through his ridiculously long lashes. Oh. _Oh._ Oh no. This was Capitol Finnick. “Do you not like that? I’m so sorry, darling. Here, let me…” he purred and then his head was under her skirt and- what did he think he was doing? She pushed him away, more gently this time. He seemed confused, there was something crazy in his eyes. This was the Finnick everyone loved, everyone wanted. So easy to have, so beautiful. “What’s wrong, love? What do you want me to do? I’ll do anything really, all you’ll have to do is keep my secret…”

“You don’t have to sleep with me to ensure I’ll keep my mouth shut.” This seemed to confuse him even more and the look in his turned slightly desperate, He looked around the room uncomfortably and Capitol Finnick was gone, as if someone had switched him off. What was left was the Finnick from last night, all nervousness, despair and _fear_. “What do you want then? I have money, if that’s what you’d prefer-“. “You don’t have to pay me for keeping your secret, whatever it is, Finnick. It doesn’t cost anything.” There was a short moment of silence and Annie thought about putting a hand on his shoulder (though that might send the wrong message) when he started laughing again, like last night. “You’re so funny, Annie Cresta, and you don’t even get it” He smiled, wide and fake, then he went back to being serious. “Nothing is free. Trust me, I’d now”. And there was a bitterness in his voice that just didn’t match free-spirited, fun-loving, slutty Capitol Finnick.

He stood up. “See you around” Annie didn't react. “Oh, and if you ever change your mind…” “Don’t worry, I won’t” And then he was gone. Oh, how messed up this whole thing was. Of course she was relieved that it was over and dealt with for her now, yet she couldn’t stop worrying about him. It was silly. Why would he let those people hurt him, he was a Victor, he could do something against. Maybe she’d ask Selena.

 

 

A week after her last encounter with Finnick, she did speak with her cousin. “Why... why did you stay with Sean?” Her cousin was as pale as sea foam. “I’m sorry, it’s just because a friend of mine, they’re going through-“. “No, it’s okay. It’s, you know, well, he saved my life when we were a bit younger. There was a storm, I was swimming, he managed to grab my hand and got me out of the water. In that moment I thought I had never and would never again love someone like him. Then later, I thought I owed it to him or something… When he, you know…” Oh. It would certainly make sense with Finnick and his fucked up idea of having to repay people. “And also… I was scared of what he might do, if I tried to leave, not just to me.” “Everything’s good now, Sel. Don’t worry…” Annie answered after a while. She wished she could tell Finnick the same.

Well, she did have a chance when he showed up at her house again on Saturday afternoon. It wasn’t Capitol Finnick or the other, desperate version of him. This one looked almost like the one before the games. If she didn’t know better, she’d say he seemed shy. “Hey, Annie. Um, do you wanna go to the beach or something... It’s not payment or anything like that, unless of course you’d like to… just some fun at the beach, alright? Like old times” “We never ever went to the beach together” she said with a smirk. “Okay, fine. You caught me. Mags told me I should go out with you. In a totally friendly way, of course. She says it’d be good for me, and my ego, to have a friend who won’t try to sleep with me at the first opportunity…” He laughed. It wasn’t really funny, considering what she knew about him now, but she laughed anyway. His laugh was contagious.

They did end up going swimming. Finnick did this weird thing in the water, almost like a dance. He was either too close for it to be innocent and friendly or he was out of her reach completely, in his own safe space. She didn’t mind or comment on it. He looked happy. When the sun started setting, they laid down on their towels in the sun and just enjoyed the peace and quiet. Finnick didn’t break the silence until it was almost completely dark.

“What you saw with Ursula, that was, well. Where do I start?” “You don’t have to…” “It’s fine, it’s fine. I want to talk about it, just one time, ‘cause I’ve never told anyone. Mags just knows and my family can’t find out. So, okay. It’s my fault basically. President Snow told me that, two years ago, when he also told me he’d be selling my body from then on. I was valuable because the capitol loved me so much. Do you want to know how much Alastair Rutherford paid for my virginity? You could probably feed everyone in four for a year with that kind of money, anyways… see, I made them want me in my Games. I knew what I was doing, I just wasn’t aware of the consequences.” Annie fought the urge to shake her head. He had been 14 in his Games and two years ago he’d been what, 15? it wasn't _his_ fault.“So, yeah. Now I guess I have to give them what I promised." 

It's not just that, though...Snow said… I mean, I have to repay the Capitol what I owe them. That’s just how it works, okay? And ” he starts whispering as if he’s afraid someone might be listening to their conversation. “He said he’d kill them. My family. If I didn’t do what the Capitol wants and be who they want me to be, he’ll kill them. I have to, Annie. There is no choice”. 

“It... it’ll be alright, Finnick, okay? Maybe not tomorrow or anytime soon. But someday, okay?” She thought of Selena who was happy now and safe and hopefully he could have that too.

“I have to go back, to the Capitol, in two months. The man who sent me the trident, he’s one of my best paying regulars and it’s his birthday. I wish I could stay here forever.” There was no answer for that.

“See you next Saturday, then, Annie Cresta?”

“Sure, Finnick”.

It would be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> SOBS. nothing is alright in the end because finnick fucking dies and how will i ever survive mockingjay???


End file.
